You may be right. But, as your blogger correspondent can report, it's not always beer, skittles and pretty Pendle Witches in the ale scribing business. Sometimes it gets serious. And so it did last week when I was summoned by the British Guild of Beer Writers to sample some malted barley in an seminar entitled 'UK Malt: Taste the Difference', an event which gave an overview of the malt industry and its future.
This was part of the Guild's mission to promote the provenance of ale and was based on a study carried out by the BRi (Brewing Research Institute) into malt flavour profiles. You might be amazed at the amount of effort that is going on in this area. Boffins all over the world are having sleepless nights worrying about what's in your pint. When you have a day or two spare you should have a look-see on the internet.
Anyway, the event began convivially enough as the boys gathered to gird their tonsils for the challenge ahead. Then it suddenly got a little scary.
Most beer drinkers know that malted barley is a fundamental building block for beer. However, few of us, I suspect - myself included - have much experience of it in its mashed porridge like state.
Well there's a first for everything they say and this was mine. Put on by Robin Appel Ltd of Warminster Maltings (http://www.warminster-malt.co.uk/) and beer champions R&R Teamwork it was a well staged event at the Spice of Life in Cambridge Circus at the heart of London's theatreland.
Eight types of barley 'porridge' were served up for our delectation in a 'blind tasting' to acquaint us with the different attributes of the various malts. Alongside we also had a snifter of the 5 per cent abv bottled beer that had been mashed with the corresponding malts. We nibbled, we sipped. We compared, we contrasted. We muttered, sage-like, into our beer.
It wasn't a pretty sight (the mash that is, not the beer writers - but then again?).The photo above top perhaps does the job better than any words. But let's try. The words sludge or slurry come instantly to mind. Brownish looking, rather unattractive blobs of sludge (can it be appealing?). It occurred to me that the exercise was reminiscent of the famous 'Walter Raleigh smoking sketch - ' yes Walt you stick it in your mouth an set fire to it? Sure Walt.'
No, it wasn't so bad. It sort of grew on you. In fact a fellow Guild member, having skipped lunch, quickly cleared the plate. I was a little more circumspect, preferring to take the liquid form.
All good fun really. But, on a serious level, gave us a real insight into how malt flavours can range from biscuit and toffee through nutty, fruit, chocolate, sweetcorn and sulphur notes. The barley varieties used in the specially brewed ales were Cellar, Cocktail, Optic, Tipple, Westminster, Flagon, Maris Otter and Pearl. Bet you didn't know there were so many.
For the record, Maris Otter is a cross between Proctor & Pedigree by Dr Colin Bell in 1960 and is the only barley to be created specifically for brewing.
Gratuitous photoIt had been a tough afternoon, but was now time to relax. So I head for a pint in Mayfair with son Andrew, now working in Gerald Grosvenor's (aka Duke of Westminster) gold encrusted corner of the capital. A decent pint of Young's Bitter (Maris Otter with Fuggles and Goldings), at the Audley was followed by a visit to the wonderfully chocker ale house (no food) Ye Grapes in the Shepherd's Market(http://www.pubs.com/ ), a lively bit of London that evokes some interesting memories for me.
I worked in that pub 30 years ago as a young and temporarily jobless journalist, a situation brought about by a nine month spat between the National Union of Journalists and the Westminster Press newspaper baron. In those days my erstwhile mother-in-law, a fine woman I always said, ran the place. I must have been a rare breed of son-in-law to actually enthuse about living with the in-laws. The experience, I think, has stood me in good stead throughout the years. Beer and skittles eh?








