Bitter blow for Tetleys

First the rape, then the pillage and now worse: the news from Danish Carlsberg that the 186 year-old Joshua Tetley Brewery in Leeds is to close.

This bombshell caused me to reflect on the past and future of this iconic ale brand and, not least, its long enduring and highy infectious ‘Tetley Bittermen’ advertising.

The catchy ‘if you can’t beat ‘em’ copy line was penned in the halcyon days for this famous beer, regarded by then owners Allied Breweries as their flagship ale. Back then, PC was merely a posh moniker for a copper - Tetley Bitterpersons just would not have cut it.

Anyway, Allied lavished cash on the brand and the ad was an early entrant to the commercials’ hall of fame - along with such as ‘You’re Never Alone With A Strand’ (for the younger readers – a once famous ciggie brand).

For many years the powerful phrase clung like the proverbial to a shovel, despite several attempts by a modernising Allied to shake it off.

Tetley Cask Bitter earned a place in the hearts and minds of discerning real ale drinkers throughout the North as a great session bitter. And umpteen thousand barrels of the stuff were also brewed for many years in the North West at the now long gone Tetley-Walker Warrington brewery.

Boots and jodhpurs
On both sides of the Pennines, promotional spends were generous. They each had their own highly impressive dray horse teams for special occasions. And the even more impressive - totally non-PC - leggy ‘huntsman girls’, complete with hunting jackets, jodhpurs and riding boots.

I know this because I once held the onerous office of Tetley-Walker’s PR man. Among my multifarious tasks I had to handle the girls, as it were (but, fortunately, not the horses) on assignments. Aaah, the jodhpurs. Happy, happy days.

Sorry, drifting off there. Back to Leeds. Just now there are some 170 disenchanted employees and a horde of angry drinkers that might claim the ‘Bittermen’ moniker for a very different reason today.

In 2011 Carlsberg plans to decamp to its huge Northampton lager plant, due, they say, to a downturn in demand for ale and rising duty. Selling off the brewery for housing has long been on the cards, but a plan to open a greenfield site near Leeds was scrapped.

In sharp contrast to Allied’s commitment, the Danes, first in the guise of Carslberg-Tetley, have scorned their heritage and failed to invest in the Tetley brands, even though the bitter is still among the UK's top selling beers.

The game was clearly up when C-T morphed into simply Carlsberg UK four years ago. They even dispatched the final dray horse team to the marketing knackers yard. And you will find no mention of Tetley’s or any other ale brand (Ansells or Burton Ale) brewed at Leeds on the Carlsberg website....

Why though, today’s Bittermen may well ask, close down the Leeds operation totally when all industry indicators point to a cask beer revival (while lager, whoops, declines) as drinkers increasingly seek provenance and taste for their tipple?

Only last week the Society of Independent Brewers, representing some 400 UK brewers, announced an eight per cent upswing in sales for its members delivering to leading pub companies. And the recent annual Intelligent Choice report for the industry found that cask ale was set for growth.

Dark day
The loss of the brewery – and the jobs - will be a very dark day indeed in the history of British ale brewing. It seems that the best those despairing Tetley Bittermen can now hope for is that the Norsemen find a brewing partner in Yorkshire to keep the cask version alive. But past experience shows this route to be tenuous survival at best.

Just look at the once highly rated cask Boddies - now brewed perfectly well by Hydes but increasingly hard to find. And if anyone can tell me where the now cult-like Flowers Original is brewed (yes, it still is) there is a pint waiting for them in the Grosvenor at Alford.

If, or more likely when, the Tetley brand is totally sold down the River Aire, let’s pray that the new wave of ambitious independent brewers in the White Rose county - the likes of Acorn, Elland, Leeds, Osset and York- snatch the opportunity to invest and fill the huge gap left in the marketplace. Unrealistic? Maybe. But that would really be beating ‘em!